


All I Want Is To See You Smile (Even If It Takes A Little While)

by larrymylove



Series: Somewhere Between Heaven and Perfect [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Football Player Louis, Harry is his nanny, Kid Fic, Louis plays football, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Louis inherited custody of his six year old son, Lucas, things have been difficult. He is now a single father trying to balance life in the fast lane as a star football player, and being a parent. His friends all see that he is in over his head and at his wit’s end, so they take to hiring a nanny for him. And of course, that nanny is none other than Harry Styles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want Is To See You Smile (Even If It Takes A Little While)

**Author's Note:**

> Title based on Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop Thinkin About Tomorrow." I wanted to write a kid fic for awhile now. But towards the end it got super cheesy. But I still love it and I hope you do too! :)

“Zaynie, I need you,” Louis’ voice sounded so desperate and broken on the phone as he collapsed into his favorite recliner.

“I’ll be there in ten, alright?” Zayn said, not even questioning what it was Louis needed.

“Thank you,” Louis said just as Zayn ended the call.

Louis rested his head back against the cool leather of the recliner. He thanked God for Zayn, and for Liam, and for Niall. Really, without them, he wasn’t sure how he would be muddling through everything. Even still with their help, it was hard. So, so hard. Louis had survived a lot of difficult things in his life. But this was definitely the hardest thing he ever had to do - be a father.

It had came as a shock to him. He’d gotten the phone call right at the end of last year’s season from some lawyer out in California. Apparently Hannah had passed away in a car crash and according to the legal documents, Louis was the biological father to her son, Lucas. A son Louis had no idea he had had. He’d flown out to California with Zayn last year to meet with the lawyers and try to get the whole mess sorted. The lawyers read him Hannah’s will and in it, she had explained everything. She had gotten pregnant their senior year of high school but with Louis getting so many football offers and scholarships, she didn’t want a child to stand in his way. So she had ended things with Louis and had moved out to California with some of her family where she raised Lucas on her own. Until the day she was driving home in the rain and her car skidded on the freeway. Louis had panicked. He didn’t know how to be a father - his own father had walked out on their family when Louis was just ten days old.

“What happens if I...if I can’t take him?” Louis had asked the lawyers, glancing through the windows into a small little room where a chestnut-haired boy sat playing with an Iron Man action figure. He had a mopy little look on his face, and Louis’ heart went out to him. He couldn’t even imagine losing his own mum at the age he was now, much less as just a kid. Lucas seemed lost in the world.

“He’ll go into foster care, Mr. Tomlinson,” the lawyers had explained.

And right then and there, Louis decided that that was just absolutely unacceptable. He’d heard horror stories about foster care and by no means was the sweet-faced little boy playing Iron Man going to go into foster care - not if Louis had any say on the issue. So after a few more meetings with his own attorney, Louis and Zayn had flown back to England with a little six year old in tow.

The first months were hell. It was still hell. But those first few months were absolutely miserable. Louis had barely made it through and probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for his best friends. He had tried his hardest, setting Lucas up with his own bedroom and several play rooms as well as a home movie theater. He bought Lucas every toy imaginable it seemed. But for the life of him, Louis could not connect with the boy. And Lucas wasn’t exactly making things easy. Louis knew he couldn’t blame him. He had just lost his mother and now had moved all the way to another country to live with someone who was a complete stranger in his mind. So Louis tried his hardest to be patient and understanding as he possibly could. But things were still so hard. Lucas lashed out all the time. He refused any authority Louis tried to lay down and over all, things were just miserable for both of them.

Until one day a few months ago.

Louis had had the grand idea to try to bake cupcakes with his son. Kids loved cupcakes, right? Surely nothing could go wrong with that. After some coaxing, Louis and Lucas were at the kitchen counter, pouring ingredients into the large yellow mixing bowl. When Louis went to turn on the electric hand mixer though, he had it up to the highest setting and chocolate cake batter flew everywhere. Every surface was covered in cake batter - including Louis and Lucas as well. Louis gasped, shutting off the mixer as quickly as he could but it was too late. He reached a hand up and smeared the chocolate down his face, letting out a groan.

And then it happened.

Next to him, standing on his little wooden step stool, Lucas doubled over laughing. Laughing! Louis had never heard his son laugh before in the months he’d been in his life. And Louis was taken back, thinking surely it was the best sound he had ever heard and he quite wanted to hear it more. He eyed his son for a moment, not sure what to do with the sudden unexpected outburst. But then he couldn’t help it. He started laughing too. And from that moment, he and Lucas just clicked.

It was Louis and Lucas from that moment on. They had bonded somehow over a mess of chocolate cake batter and laughter. And Louis was sure it was that moment that Lucas - hopefully at least - realized that he could trust his father. They became somewhat of a team. Though things were still difficult. Lucas would push back and fight Louis on virtually every issue that arose. He just did not want to accept any authority Louis tried to lay down. And Louis found himself in this odd limbo of being both his child’s whole world, and his child’s biggest source of anger and obstination. They could go from having pillow fights and giggling together in a wrestling match to butting heads and yelling at each other and completely exhausting each other.

It was absolutely exhausting. Louis was constantly worn out. And last year, he had been able to have the guys rotate in trying to care for Lucas while Louis was at practice and games. But with the new season starting up, and things still being pretty difficult, he wasn’t sure he could put them through that. He’d have to think of something though.

Tonight had been especially bad. Louis had had a constant rotating door of babysitters. He had gone to pre-season practice and had left Lucas in the care of one of the seven sitters Louis had used regularly. When he’d come home from practice, sore and exhausted, he had found Miss Mildred Mulder standing by the door with her arms crossed and foot tapping on the marble flooring. Right when he saw her, Louis knew shit was about to hit the fan. He took a deep breath, setting his keys on the table by the door and asked --

“What happened?”

He was not in the mood to deal with any of this really. Simon, the coach for Man U had chewed his ass out for being “distracted” out on the pitch today. But really, could Louis be blamed for that? No. Absolutely not. Not when he was going through everything he was going through. And Coach Simon was a drill sergeant and Louis, while being Coach’s favorite player, was not spared the verbal thrashing that he was met with after practice. He had to just stand there as Coach tore into him, trying not to wince and honestly, trying not to cry. Louis was just very much at the end of his rope. And now this.

“Your son!” Mildred gasped, “Your son has given me more grey hairs in the last six hours than I’ve had in all my sixty-seven years!”

Louis frowned because no. He was pretty sure Miss Mildred Mulder had frizzy grey hair when he’d first met her several weeks ago. And also, while Louis knew his son was an absolute menace to society, he didn’t appreciate hearing it from others.

“What happened?” Louis asked again trying to remain calm.

“I put a movie in for him to watch while I tried to prepare sandwiches for his lunch. Peanut butter and jelly per his request. But when I came to fetch him for lunch, he said he didn’t want peanut butter and jelly. I told him that was just too bad. And then he took all the cushions off the couch and proceeded to throw them at me. Well I am not going to have that. So I stuck him in time-out. And while he was having his time-out in his room, he proceeded to dump all his toy boxes and just make a whole mess of his entire room.”

Louis took a deep breath. Lucas didn’t do well with time-outs. Louis knew this. Louis had tried virtually everything. Lucas didn’t like timeouts. And Louis had researched online and found that a lot of children who’d suffered loss couldn’t stand to be isolated from others in a situation like timeout. It caused them anxiety and sometimes even flashbacks to the initial loss in their lives.

Louis swore he’d done more research since getting Lucas than he had done ever in school.

But this was a subject he was passionate about.

“You can’t put him in time-out and leave him alone like that,” Louis explained, “I know I’ve said this…”

“Sir, forgive me,” Miss Mildew - as Louis had suddenly in the last three minutes taken to referring to her as - said, “But you don’t allow me to do much. You are firmly against spanking. And you are against any and all other punishments as well so it seems. If you aren’t going to try to correct your son’s behavior, and I’m not allowed to, I am afraid this arrangement will not work.”

“I can see that,” Louis said flatly, beyond offended now, “You may leave.”

“I need my last cheque, sir.”

“And I need you not to make assumptions about my son or about my parenting,” Louis blinked, “You can get out of our home now.”

And so Miss Mildew had left with a huff. And Louis had hurried into Lucas’ room to check on his son. Lucas was folded up against the corner of his bed and the wall, holding a teddy bear to his chest. Louis’ heart had broken when he saw his son. Maybe Miss Midew had a point. But Louis knew Lucas. He knew that punishment only ever backfired and made Lucas worse. He would rather have his son be a little hellion than have his son retreat into himself and be broken. Louis had been a little hellraiser as a child himself. His mum never resorted to punishments with him either - other than the occasional grounding at times. Instead, she always talked him to logically and like an adult. She put Louis on her level and only ever spoke to him openly and with respect. If she didn’t like his behavior, she told him so and taught him different ways of getting his point across, or channeling his energy. She said that it took a lot of patience but she never gave up on Louis. And Louis knew he couldn’t give up on Lucas. He was determined to reach his son and to get him to behave without use of punishment. He was certain Lucas had it in him to be a good, sweet boy. Louis saw that side of him shine through a lot. He just wished others could as well.

“Hi, bub,” Louis had said, sitting down on the edge of Lucas’ bed, “Wanna tell me what happened today?”

“No,” Lucas frowned, clutching the bear tighter.

“If it’s any consolation,” Louis picked at the race car comforter on Lucas’ bed, “Miss Mildew won’t be coming back.”

“Really?” Lucas’ face lit up slightly and Louis felt his heart tug slightly.

“No baby, she isn’t. She’s mean, huh?”

“Yeah, very mean.”

“Well we won’t ever have to see her again, I promise,” Louis vowed, “But I am going to have to find you another sitter, love.”

“Don’t want a sitter. Want you.”

“I know, darling. I know,” Louis sighed, “But Daddy has to go to work and you can’t be left here alone. I’ll try to find someone though, someone good who won’t get angry at you, bub. But you have to meet them halfway, okay? You have to try to behave, alright?”

“Daddy…” Lucas looked up to Louis with big blue eyes and Louis couldn’t help but feel his heart tug. Honestly, it was like looking into a mirror almost twenty years ago.

“Yeah, Luc?”

“Am I bad?”

Louis’ heart shattered into a thousand sharp, jagged pieces, “No! No baby! You aren’t bad!” Louis was quick to respond, “Never bad, okay? You just...you act up sometimes, yeah? But you aren’t bad. Who said you were bad?”

“Mildew.”

“Yuck,” Louis grimaced, “No baby. You aren’t bad. You’re my sweet boy, okay? Daddy’s going to try really hard to find a sitter who will understand that, okay? Now then, it’s late, baby. Why don’t you try to get some sleep, alright?”

“Alright, Daddy,” Lucas kneeled up on his knees and pressed a kiss into Louis’ cheek. This was something new that had just started in the last few weeks and every time Louis’ felt his son press a kiss to him, he swore his heart grew wings. He couldn’t help but feel so much love and devotion to this child. Louis was quite certain he had had no idea anyone could love anyone else so much as much as he loved Lucas.

“Get some sleep, alright?”

“Alright,” Lucas tucked himself into his covers and Louis pressed a gentle kiss so his son’s forehead.

After turning off his light, Louis had retreated back to the living room to call Zayn. He was so in over his head. None of the other sitters were much better than Mildew. And after her outburst, Louis was quite certain he couldn’t leave Lucas in the care of any of the other sitters. They didn’t understand it either - Lucas’ behavior or Louis’ parenting. He needed someone who would. Someone who could be like a partner to him. Someone who’d just get it. Lucas didn’t need punishments or harsh words or threats. He needed someone to talk to him directly and with respect and patience. Lucas needed someone he could know he could trust. Getting Lucas to trust and open up was Louis’ primary goal and concern.

A few minutes later, his doorbell rang and Louis scurried to answer it. Zayn was standing there with a six pack of Hard Cider and an armful of Louis’ favorite movies.

“Hey babe,” Zayn grinned as Louis opened the door wider to let him in, “Rough night?”

“You have no idea,” Louis wrapped his arms around Zayn and Zayn held him for a moment, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Let’s go into the movie room, alright?” Zayn suggested, “You can tell me about everything then.”

Once in the home theater, Louis explained everything to Zayn and said, “I just don’t know what to do, Zaynie. I need someone who can watch him for me when I am working or traveling. Someone I can trust and who has experience. I need...I need someone he can bond with. I just...I can’t do this alone. And I know I have you and Liam and Niall, but honestly it’s too much to put all on you. I need someone who’s...who’s...trained.”

“A nanny,” Zayn clarified.

“Yes! But someone who just...who will understand. I am so sick of these old women coming into my home and trying to tell me how to raise my boy. I know what I’m doing...at least, I think I do. I’ve tried everything, Z. I have. And I know what doesn’t work and what really doesn’t work. If you put Luc in time-out alone, he’ll go bizerk. If you yell at him, he closes in on himself. If you threaten him, he breaks down in tears. This is kid needs someone who will work with him and who will be patient and understanding. Someone who’ll talk to him and look him in the eye and who’ll treat him with respect. What’s so foreign about treating a child with respect, Z? They’re human beings too. Tiny ones with poor judgement making skills. But they’re still humans!”

Louis was close to tears now. He was utterly exhausted, and this was a subject he was quite passionate about. Growing up, he had had teachers tell him he’d never be good enough. He had principals tell his mother he needed a firmer hand. He had heard it all. And Jay - bless her - had stood by him the whole time and had told them that she knew Louis better than them and that she could get through to him. And she had. Louis was determined to do the same for Luc.

“Niall has a buddy,” Zayn cracked open a cider and handed it to Louis, “He’s got a major in Early Childhood Development and used to work at a daycare. But he had to take some time off when his dad got ill a few months ago. He’s looking for work again now though. He’s great with kids, or so I hear.”

“Tell me more!” Louis tucked his legs up underneath himself, taking a sip of his cider.

“Well, his name is Harry. Harry Styles. And he’s young. Not too young, but younger than us. And he adores kids. I could ask Niall to give him a call. You could maybe meet him sometime this week for like, an interview or summat. He’s kind of strange, but sweet. I’ve met him once. He’s a good lad. Fit too.”

“Zayn!” Louis gasped, scandalized, “Now is not the time to be playing matchmaker, alright? I don’t care if he’s fit. This is about Luc and if he’s a good fit for him. Got it?”

\--

The next week, Louis, Zayn, and Liam were set in the living room while Lucas was playing with his action figures on the floor. Finally, the doorbell rang and Louis knelt down on the ground to tall to Luc while Zayn went to answer the door.

“Alright, bub. I’m gonna need you to go play in your room for a bit. Kay, love?”

“Don’t wanna!” Lucas protested, “Wanna play here!”

“I know, Luc. I know,” Louis sighed, looking frantically towards the entryway where Zayn was shaking hands with someone - probably Harry. Which meant Harry was here and about to witness his first Lucas meltdown. At least it would be a good test for him, right? Louis rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair and trying to brace himself for what was coming.

“Wanna stay here!” Lucas’ brow furrowed and his bottom lip jutted out. Louis looked frantically to where Zayn was standing with Niall and with whom he presumed was Harry. Harry was very tall and very lanky. He had brown curls and Louis was a little taken back by his apperance. But no. He couldn’t focus on how dashing Harry looked. Not when he had a six year old on the verge of a tantrum.

Louis crawled closer to Lucas, “Bub, I’m going to need you to go play in your room while Daddy talks to his friends, okay?”

“Wanna stay here!” Lucas protested, and to punctuate his statement, he threw his Captain America action figure. Hard. It landed with a sharp crash to the marble floor and shattered. Both Louis and Lucas looked at it, wide-eyed. Louis thought Lucas may cry over it. He loved his action figures. But he kept very quiet instead, which was almost more unnerving.

“Hey!” Louis’ tone was sharp, “Look at me.”

Lucas turned away so Louis grabbed his chin with his fingers, tilting the boy’s face upward to meet his gaze, “Lucas, look at me,” Louis ordered, “We do not throw our toys, alright? When we get angry, we use our words. We don’t throw,” Louis released the boy’s chin, “Now tell me what I just said.”

“We...use our...words,” Lucas pouted, “Don’t...throw.”

“Right. Now then, I won’t ask again. Stand up and go play in your room.”

Lucas frowned again but pushed himself up off the rug and made his way towards the stairs. He glanced back at Louis as if checking to see if he may have changed his mind. Louis pointed up the stairs and Lucas went. Louis sighed, reaching over and collecting the bits of Captain America.

“Christ, he decapitated him,” Louis muttered, trying to put the pieces back together.

Zayn cleared his throat, “Louis, this is Harry.”

Louis was still knelt by the fire place, trying to mend Captain America. He glanced up and gave a little shrug, “Not sure you still want the position, Harry. This...this is what a typical day looks like in Lucas Land.”

“C’mon,” Liam hopped up off the couch, “Lads, why don’t we give Harry and Louis some time to talk.”

The boys followed Liam into the kitchen and Harry slowly knelt down next to Louis as if he wasn’t entirely sure he was allowed. Louis was still trying to put Captain America’s head back on, and failing.

“Hey,” Harry said softly, “Nothing a little super glue won’t take care of.”

Louis glanced up through his lashes to see Harry smiling down at him, biting his bottom lip and smiling slightly - hopeful. Louis sighed and set the pieces on the corner of the fireplace, “I’m sorry you had to see that,” Louis shook his head, “Wish I could say this was a fluke, but it’s not. This is...this is Lucas.”

“Niall told me about him,” Harry said again, sitting cross-legged next to Louis, “Told me pretty much everything. Must be hard on him...losing his mother like that. And hard on you...having a kid kind of plopped into your hands with no warning.”

Louis nodded, “Lucas is different. I was a lot like him when I was a kid. I know he’s a good kid, because I know I was a good kid deep down. My mum was the only one who could see past my bad behavior and acting out. She was so patient with me and talked to me as if I was on her level. It helped me. Her showing me respect taught me how to respect. I will not yell at my son or hit him. I just won’t. And I won’t have anyone telling me I should.”

“Is that what happened with the other nannies?” Harry asked as if treading water.

“Yeah,” Louis winced, “They didn’t get it. They thought Lucas should be punished for acting out. And I get teaching him right and wrong. And holding him accountable. And he loses privileges. But when I yell at him or resort to timeouts, it’s ineffective.”

“A lot of kids don’t react well to punishments,” Harry said, running a hand through his curls so that they parted to one side, “Positive reinforcement works a lot better. Communication too. I am sure the guys told you I have a degree in childhood development. I’m not trying to come in here and say I know more than you. You’re his parent and you know him best. But can I just say...that I think you did a great job earlier. You kept calm and eventually he did listen to you.”

“He does listen to me,” Louis sighed again, “It just takes patience. What I am needing is someone who will respect that and understand that. Someone who will respect him and make an effort to understand him. I know he’s going through so much right now. And in a few months, his lessons will start and I need someone who will be able to help him with that as well.”

“So you’re going to the homeschool route?”

“Yeah. For now at least. I know he has attachment issues and a lot of anxiety. I just...I need him to be here in the home. He feels safe here, I know he does. And I need someone who will help him to feel safe. The other sitters, they would yell at him and call him bad. And I just...I need someone who will use kindness.”

“You love him so much,” Harry said, and Louis looked up to see such intensity behind Harry’s gaze that it overwhelmed him to the point of having to look away, “I can see that. It’s very evident that you adore your son.”

Louis couldn’t help the smile that tugged on his lips, “When he was...given to me, I honestly didn’t know what to do with a child. I felt more frustration towards him and the situation than anything. But slowly...it was like a process I think. And then just one day I looked at him, and it’s like my heart swelled. And I knew I would love this little bug until the day I die. And I just...I need someone to look after him while I’m working and traveling. I need someone who will love him too.”

“Give me a chance, Lou. I am certain I can be the person you need.”

Louis frowned, “It won’t be easy, Harry. It will be quite the opposite really. I just...I want you to know what you’re getting into. Caring for and looking after Luc...it takes a lot. And you are free to say no if you want. I understand. I’m not trying to back you into anything. I just…”

“Lou,” Harry’s voice was firm and Louis couldn’t help but meet his gaze again, “I promise you. I’ll be the person you need.”

\--

Harry’s first day was the very next week. He arrived at Louis’ home at seven in the morning. Louis had practice at eight and would be heading off soon. Louis had given him his own key and when Harry entered, he found Louis and Lucas at the kitchen table. They were eating cereal and Harry hung back for a moment just to watch. He wanted to see them interact more one on one.

“Must you go to work today, Daddy?”

“Yes, bub. You know I do. But my friend Harry will be here to look after you while I’m gone.”

“I don’t like Harry,” Lucas mumbled, glancing down into his bowl of cereal.

“Hey now,” Louis dropped his spoon and reached across the table to lift Lucas’ chin with his finger, “That’s not kind, Luc. You don’t even know Harry yet. You have to at least give him a chance. If you still don’t like him by the end of the week, I’ll...I’ll find someone else. But I like him and I think you will too.”

“You like him?” Lucas asked.

Harry’s heart may have swelled a bit to hear Louis say, “Yeah, he’s sweet.”

“Hmm…” Lucas’ brow furrowed slightly, “Well if you like him, I guess he can’t be too bad, huh?”

Louis broke out into a laugh and soon Lucas was laughing right along with him. “Nah baby,” Louis chuckled, “He’s not too bad.”

Harry waited a moment before clearing his throat and making his entrance into the kitchen. Louis glanced up and his face broke out into a huge grin. Harry couldn’t help but notice Louis’ eyes crinkled when he smiled.

“Hi there,” Harry gave a small wave.

“Hi Harry! Lucas, this is Harry,” Louis motioned for Harry to come join them at the table. Harry warily sat down next to Louis, not wanting to intrude by sitting next to Lucas. He wanted to ease himself slowly into the kid’s life. And if Lucas didn’t like him yet, Harry wasn’t going to try to force him to.

“Hi,” Harry smiled warmly at Lucas, “Cocoa Pops. My favorite!”

Lucas raised his eyes from his cereal bowl to Harry, “They’re our favorite, right Daddy?”

“That’s right, bub,” Louis smiled, leaning forward a bit and pressing a kiss to Lucas’ temple, “The only cereal there is.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile, “I’m just going to uh...observe you two while you go about your morning routine. Just to see how you interact and everything, okay?” Harry blinked to Louis, suddenly very self-conscious, “I hope that’s not...like weird...or anything.”

“Not weird at all,” Louis smiled assuredly and Harry felt something along the nature of butterflies swell in his stomach, “We’re just going to finish up breakfast and then I’ll be off for the day. Simon’s got us doing insane practices. I’ll be home about five tonight. Oh! Would you like some cereal? Or some coffee perhaps?”

Harry shook his head, “I had some oatmeal at home.”

“Ew,” Lucas scrunched up his face, “Oatmeal!”

Louis made a very similar face, “Who eats oatmeal?”

“I do!” Harry gasped, feigning offense, “It’s quite yummy with fresh berries and honey.”

“If you say so, H,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Daddy, will Harry try to make me eat oatmeal?” Lucas asked, his eyes wide in horror.

Harry had to bite back a laugh and Louis pointed a finger at him, “Don’t worry, Monster. Harry wouldn’t dare.”

\--

“Well Lucas, what would you like to do today?” Harry asked. Louis had left for work about ten minutes ago. Lucas had been pouting and Louis had pulled him into a hug and peppered his face with kisses until he laughed. Now, Lucas was sitting at the kitchen table quietly coloring the children’s section of the newspaper.

“I like coloring,” Lucas said.

“Me too,” Harry sat back down next to Lucas at the table, “Could I color too?”

Lucas shrugged, “Daddy keeps paper in the desk drawer over there. There’s also markers too but Daddy doesn’t like me to use those unless there’s like...a sheet down or something. Last time I touched the markers, I accidentally colored the the table.”

“Is that so?” Harry raised a brow, moving to fetch the paper from the desk.

“Yeah. Daddy wasn’t happy. He got this look on his face. It was sad. I don’t wanna make Daddy sad.”

“I don’t think you do, buddy,” Harry got the paper and sat back down next to Lucas, “I was talking to your daddy about you. He lights up when he talks about you. It’s clear you make him happy.”

“Sometimes I make him sad though. When I’m bad.”

“Who said you’re bad?” Harry asked, keeping his voice casual as he began to draw a tree on one of the sheets of paper.

“One of the sitters,” Lucas frowned, “They can be mean sometimes. Are you mean?”

“I don’t think so,” Harry began to color in the green leaves, “I try not to be.”

Lucas looked up from his own drawing of a rainbow, “Sometimes...sometimes I think I can be a bit mean. But if you try not to be mean to me, I’ll try not to be mean to you. I think that’ll make Daddy happy.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile, “It’s a deal then!”

\--

When Louis came home that evening, he opened the door warily. He half expected Harry to be standing there ready to jump on him like Miss Mildew. Instead though, all he heard was silence. Which was worrisome. He deposited the keys on the table and slowly made his way through his home trying to figure out what had happened.

“Luc?” Louis called out, “Harry?”

He came into the living room and was instantly met by Harry shh’ing him. Louis blinked, taken back by what he saw. Lucas was laying on the couch, tucked against Harry’s side, asleep while Harry was playing a game on his phone.

“What the hell?” Louis whispered.

“He fell asleep about an hour ago.”

“Oh my God! He never...what did you do to my child? Did you drug him?”

“What?” Harry hissed, “Of course not!”

“I was kidding, Harold,” Louis tip-toed over to the chair next to the couch, “It’s just...he’s never out like this. What did you two do today?”

“Well, we colored for starters. He drew a beautiful picture of a rainbow. And then afterwards, we watched cartoons for a bit and then he wanted to play outside so I sort of maybe um...set up an obstacle course in the backyard,” Louis’ eyes widened at that and Harry quickly said, “ ‘s nothing too crazy! But it was so much fun, Louis. He had the time of his life. And then we had lunch and built a pillow fort which led to a pillow fight and then he passed out about four. I wasn’t sure his nap schedule so I’m sorry if that's not okay.”

“Harry,” Louis held up a hand, “Take a breath. It’s fine. More than fine, really. He had fun today. And got along with you, right?”

“Yeah. We sort of made a pact.”

“Oh?” Louis raised a brow, urging Harry to elaborate.

“Yeah. I told him I’d be nice to him and he said he’d be nice to me because he um...he thought that that’d make you happy. Lou, you should have heard him!” Harry brightened as he continued, “Always talking about you as if you hung the moon! And he only wants to make you happy. He loves you so much.”

Louis fish-mouthed for a moment. It was so much to take in. “I-I don’t know what to say,” Louis felt tears prickle his eyes, “I mean, it’s so hard to tell sometimes. I just...I don’t always know what he’s thinking or feeling. Sometimes I just think he’s annoyed by me. But...wow.”

“Yeah, wow is right,” Harry brushed a gentle hand over Lucas’ hair, “He’s a sweet kid, Lou. Spirited, but sweet. We didn’t have any  tantrums or meltdowns today. We just had fun together. He’s a good kid, Lou. You really are doing a good job with him.”

“Thanks,” Louis was still so overwhelmed by what Harry had told him, “I just...I’m sorry,” he raised a knuckle to wipe at a tear, “I’m sorry. I just...sometimes I feel like I’m screwing everything up. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. But I try really hard. I want to be a good dad to him, Harry. I really do.”

“Well you are,” Harry reached over and placed a firm hand on Louis’ knee. Louis froze for a moment. Was this okay? It was such an intimate touch and Harry was his nanny and his employee. Was such an intimate touch allowed? But neither Harry nor Louis made an effort to move.

“I can tell you this,” Harry continued, “You’re his favorite person.”

Louis didn’t even try to stop the tears that rolled heavily down his cheeks, “He’s mine too.”

\--

“Daddy...do you like Harry?”

Louis nearly choked on his own saliva. He and Lucas were sitting on the couch eating macaroni and cheese for dinner and watching Iron Man. Louis was certain they’d seen it about fifty times, but it was a favorite of theirs. He carefully set his spoon down into his bowl and turned to his son with a wide look in his eyes.

“What on earth made you ask that?” Louis asked, trying to gather his composure.

“I dunno…” Lucas shrugged, “ ‘s just...Harry’s been my nanny for awhile now. And you two are always like...looking at each other and smiling at eachother. And Unca Niall says that you two would be uh...um...’proper cute.’”

“Christ Almighty,” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose, “No more hanging out alone with ‘Unca Niall.’ He’s putting ideas into your head.”

“He’s not though!” Unca Zayn says so too. And Unca Li…”

“Are they all plotting against me?” Louis groaned, throwing his head back against the couch cushion. Okay, so maybe they weren’t so off base. Harry had been with them for about two months now. And Louis had found him attractive the first instant he’d laid eyes on him. But now...things had only gotten more intense. Seeing Harry interact with Lucas and seeing how much the two of them had bonded over the last few months, it stirred something inside of Louis. He and Harry communicated so much lately through talking and texting. They were on the same page when it came to discipline and working with Lucas. And Louis truly felt like Harry was his partner. Which was strange. So, so strange. Considering they weren’t even dating. But that’s how it felt. As if they were partners.

“If it makes you feel better, Daddy. I think Harry likes you too.”

“Wait? What?” Louis put his bowl down on the coffee table and turned to his son, “Spill.”

Lucas rolled his eyes, “So you do like him!”

“Hush you!” Louis pointed a scolding finger at his son, “Tell me everything.”

“He just talks about you a bunch,” Lucas shrugged, “And when he does, he smiles real big. And when I talk about you he smiles real big. You make him smile real big. And I know he makes you smile real big.”

Louis frowned a bit, “Fair point. But that doesn’t mean anything, Luc…”

“I think you like him and I think he likes you,” Lucas sing-songed.

“Oh my god,” Louis rolled his eyes, “Okay. Enough of this talk. Let’s watch the movie, okay bub? And eat your macaroni, okay.”

Lucas shrugged but turned back to the movie. Louis furrowed his brows as he tried to focus on the screen. But he couldn’t now. All he could think about now was Harry. Cute, charming, sweet Harry. Cute, charming, sweet Harry with his bad jokes and his ridiculous sense of humor and his huge heart. And fuck. Louis was definitely gone for him. He’d tried not to be, to be fair. He tried really hard not to be. But it was just hard. Because as soon as Louis had told himself no, and that this wasn’t professional, Harry would burst in with a silly joke or smile until his dimples popped and Louis was just such a goner for him.

He’d thought he’d been sneaky about it. He had tried really hard to bottle it up or push it away. But if all of his friends and his six year old noticed, maybe he wasn’t exactly doing such a good job about that. Louis frowned. Was Lucas right though? Did Harry like him too? Sure, he hung around more with Louis and Lucas together. It was the three of them a lot of the time. And Harry would wink at him sometimes when they’d share a joke or he would hip check him when they would walk past each other. Louis’ head felt floaty. Surely Harry didn’t like him. Surely not.

He reached for his phone that sat on the coffee table and typed out a text. He was sure it was crossing a dozen lines, but he wanted to at least put it out there. So he texted Harry saying --

_**So...do you know if they still have that show Kids Say The Darnedest Things? If so, sign my kid up! You wouldn’t believe what Luc just told me.** _

A few seconds later, Harry replied --

_What? Tell me!!_

Louis bit his lower lip. Sure he and Harry had been texting a lot lately. And sure if he scrolled up through the previous texts they would all be a bit flirty. But this was definitely going to cross a line. But Louis needed to know. He needed to just put it all out there.

**_He may have told me that he thinks we have crushes on each other. Crazy, right???_ **

_Yeah...Crazy._

Louis frowned. What the hell did that mean.

_**Said you light up when you talk about me. That true, Hazza? Louis asked, using one of the several nicknames he’d coined for Harry over the past few months.** _

_What a little tattletale! Never telling him anything ever again :(_

_**Oh my God...so it is true?????** _

Louis felt his heart speed up. He glanced to Lucas out of the corner of his eye. He was curled up watching Iron Man so intently. Louis had to bite back a smile as he turned his attention back to his phone that had just lit back up in his hand.

_To be fair, he said you light up when you talk about me!_

_**Don’t turn this back on me, Harold. You have a crush on me!!** _

_Oh my God. Louis shut up. Besides, YOU have a crush on ME._

Louis scrunched up his nose. He had no idea where this was going. This was totally uncharted territory for him. He hadn’t had a crush in years, at least not a crush he actually acted on before. But there was just something about Harry. The way he was with Lucas...the way he was with Louis. Louis was just enamored by him.

_**So...what do we do about this then?** _

_I don’t know, Lewis. You tell me. And is this really a conversation we should be having through text messages._

_**Probably not. Come over. The Monster and I are watching Iron Man. We’ll probably watch another movie and call it a night. But we’d both like it a lot if you came over and hung out. Then after the movie, we can talk. Sort this through.** _

_I don’t want to mess anything up, Lou. There’s a reason I’ve kept this bottled up._

_**Yeah, me too. But if we don’t do something about it I am quite certain between Lucas and our traitor friends, they will. So I’d rather we be the ones to do something. Not them.** _

_Very true. Niall almost set us up on a blind date a few weekends ago. I found out from Zayn._

**_Those assholes! I’m gonna wring Niall’s neck next time I see the little Irish bastard. Now then, are you coming over or not?_ **

_I’ll be there in 10._

Louis’ heart sped up. This was not happening. This could not be happening! What had he done? He had invited Harry over to hang out and then they were going to actually address the elephant in the room - their feelings. Louis put his face in his hands and let out a groan.

“Daddy?” Lucas turned to Louis, “Are you okay?”

“No,” Louis sighed, “Harry’s coming over.”

“And that’s bad why?” Lucas pulled Louis’ hands down and crawled into his lap. Ever since Harry had come into their lives, Lucas had been more open and more affectionate with all of them, but especially Louis. And Louis’ heart swelled with joy at that. Sometimes it took all his strength not to break down and cry happy tears whenever his son would initiate a cuddle.

“Because you were right, bub. Daddy does like Harry. Daddy likes Harry so, so much. And tonight Daddy’s going to tell Harry. And I don’t know what Harry’s going to say.”

“He’ll say he loves you because he does,” Lucas planted a kiss to Louis’ cheek, “Promise.”

“Bud, you don’t know that,” Louis’ bottom lip jutted out slightly. He wished his son was right more than anything.

“I do though.”

“Listen,” Louis touched his forehead to Luc’s, “I want to tell you that it might not work out, okay? Harry might not like me back. And that’s going to be okay. He’ll still be our friend, okay? He’ll always be our friend no matter what. Just...don’t get your hopes up, okay?”

“Okay,” Lucas tugged lightly at Louis’ pouty bottom lip, “Smile Daddy!”

“You want Daddy to smile, do you?” Louis’ face broke into a huge grin, “How’s this for a smile?” Louis began to tickle Lucas as his son squirmed and tried to get away. His giggles were Louis’ favorite sound in the world and he always said a quiet little prayer to whoever was listening, thanking them for creating a Lucas and for helping him to be a happier, brighter kid.

Lucas was giggling so much and trying to tickle Louis back that they didn’t hear the key in the door or Harry enter. Harry saw the two of them wrestling around on the couch, both of them a mess of giggles. He just smiled as he stood in the doorway of the living room, not wanting to interrupt. A few weeks ago, that wouldn’t be a thing. But he’d watched as Lucas had slowly opened up more and more with everyone, but more so with his Daddy. He initiated cuddles and kisses and tickle fights more and more. And Harry couldn’t help but be so proud of both Lucas and Louis.

“A-hem,” Harry cleared his throat, making his presence known.

“Harry!” Lucas shrieked.

Harry laughed as he came over to the couch where the father and son were still wrestling. Harry casually plopped down into the recliner next to the couch, watching the two with a bemused look on his face.

“Luc, get him behind the knees,” Harry advised.

“Traitor!” Louis shrieked as his son tickled him behind his knees. He hated that Harry knew that little bit of information - something he had discovered when the two of them had a bit of a wrestling match after tangling up in each other and falling over during a botched one-on-one footie match - and hated that he had shared it with Luc.

“Luc!” Louis finally stilled his son. He bent down and whispered something in Lucas’ ear and Lucas darted off the couch and lunged at Harry, going right for his sides.

“Heeey!” Harry protested, “Louis! I wasn’t even a part of this!”

“Yeah, you weren’t. Until you decided to make yourself a part of it. Really, H. Telling him to go for my knees? Dirty move there.”

Finally the three of them settled down a bit and Louis put on Treasure Planet for them to watch. Lucas was tucked onto one side of the couch, and Louis was tucked on the other. He was resting his arms on the arm of the couch with his chin on top of them. He was watching Harry more so than he was watching the movie - even if this was his favorite Disney movie of all time.

“You’re not watching the movie,” Harry sing-songed as he turned his attention to Louis.

“You’re distracting me.”

“And how, might I ask, am I doing that?”

“By being cute, Hazza,” Louis blushed slightly and reveled in the deep blush that stained Harry’s cheeks and neck. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but turned his attention back to the television screen instead.

“Watch the movie, Louis,” Harry rolled his eyes, but he was smiling and Louis felt somewhat accomplished.

“Rather watch you,” Louis mumbled.

“Stop it,” Harry shook his head, smiling wider now - dimples on full display.

Louis rolled his eyes but turned his gaze back to the television screen. He wasn’t focused on the movie at all though. He thought instead of the last few months he’d spent with Harry in their lives. Things had started out slowly at first - a glance here, a smile there. But then things had intensified out of nowhere it seemed. Glances and smiles turned into touches. And then there’d been that one-on-one footie match when ended when Harry sprawled on top of Louis and making a crack of “Enjoying the view” when Louis had asked him to get off because he was crushing him. Harry didn’t. And Louis had tickled him and they had wrestled around on the grass until Niall had appeared in the doorway and cleared his throat and told them to get a room.

That hadn’t been that long ago. And since then, Louis felt this heat whenever he was around Harry. He felt like when he was in Harry’s presence he was just constantly buzzing - a live wire. He wanted Harry’s attention, his touch. But he also knew that Harry was his employee and that wasn’t professional at all.

But now Louis had reached this point of really not giving a fuck at all. He liked Harry. He liked Harry so, so much. And tonight, he was actually going to do something about it.

\--

“He finally settled down,” Louis yawned, appearing back in the doorway of the living room, “I think he might actually sleep. Though he kept saying he wanted to stay up and play and hang out with you. He’s quite taken with you, really.”

Harry bit his bottom lip, looking at Louis for a moment as if trying to take him in, “Is he...is he the only one?” Harry asked. His voice was weighted. And Louis shifted on his feet, trying to process how this conversation was going to go. There was no point in trying to hide it anymore. Everything was pretty much out there.

“No,” Louis said quietly, “He’s not.” He was standing in the doorway, eyeing Harry shyly who was still  sitting in the recliner. Harry took a breath before standing and making his way over to Louis. He stood in front of him in the way that made Louis always feel so much smaller and more vulnerable than he really was.

“Who else is taken with me, Louis?” Harry asked, he reached out and grabbed a gentle hold onto the hem of Louis’ t-shirt.

“I-I am,” Louis blushed, looking down at Harry’s hands.

“It’s mutual you know,” Harry said, ducking down slightly and lifting Louis’ chin to meet his gaze, “I...I am pretty taken with you as well.”

“This is going to sound really weird,” Louis took a sharp breath, “but I feel like you’re my other half. My partner. Already and we aren’t even like...dating. But the way you are with Luc, and the way we are. It just...it feels like you’re in my corner. And it just feels like we’re a united front in this. And I just feel like...I feel like it’s you and me Harry. Is that weird? That’s weird.”

“ ‘ s not weird,” Harry reached up and brushed a strand of Hair from Louis’ eyes, “ ‘s not weird at all. I feel the same way, Louis. You’re so good with Luc and the two of you are so happy together. But sometimes...sometimes I’ve let myself imagine that I’m part of that.”

“You are part of that!” Louis insisted, “You’re very much part of that. You’ve helped Luc so much, Harry. He’s such a happier kid. And more trusting and open. And you did that. You are such a part of this, Harry. You’re such a part of this family.”

“I am?” Harry’s eyes twinkled and Louis swore he was glowing.

“Of course, H. Lucas...Lucas loves you. I...I love you.”

And there it was.

Louis took a sharp breath.

It was out there and he couldn’t take it back now.

He bit his bottom lip and looked up at Harry shyly, terrified.

“Louis…” Harry said on a breath. Then, “I...I love you too. So, so much.”

“You do?” Louis blinked, “You aren’t just saying that?”

“No, never. I fell in love with you somewhere in the course of these past few months, Lou. And I just look at you and I look at you with Luc and I just feel like...I feel at home. Is that weird?”

“Not weird. Not weird at all.”

“So where does this leave us then?” Harry asked.

“Well...I think the only logical thing to do now would be for you to kiss me.”

“Is that so?” Harry quirked a brow.

“Mmhmm,” Louis nodded.

“Well, if you insist,” Harry bent down and brought his lips to Louis’. And the only thing Louis could think when kissing Harry was - home.

“What happens now?” Harry asked, breathless.

“Well, tomorrow I think I’m going to introduce you to The Monster as my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Harry’s face lit up like a thousand fairy lights.

“Boyfriend,” Louis affirmed.

“Boyfriend!” A shrill little voice rang out from the top of the steps. Louis and Harry glanced up to see Lucas running down the stairs taking two at a time. Louis rolled his eyes.

“You!” You grabbed his son, lifting him up in his arms, “Should be in bed!”

“Wanted to hear you two! You did say that you were gonna tell Harry you liked him!”

“You did?” Harry turned to Louis.

“You are a menace!” Louis pressed a slobbery kiss to Lucas’ cheek, “An absolute menace!”

“So does this mean you and Harry are together?” Lucas asked, grinning wildly as he wiped at his cheek.

“Yes, bub. That’s what this means,” Louis smiled at Harry. They were both beaming.

“Good!” Lucas approved.

“So does this mean you like me a little bit?” Harry asked, still treading carefully.

Lucas pouted as if thinking it over for a moment before saying, “Nah.”

“Luc!” Louis was affronted, “What?”

“I don’t like him a little bit,” Lucas clarified, “I love him a lot!”

Harry was smiling bigger than Louis had ever seen him smile before. He wrapped his arms around Louis and Lucas in a huge bear hug.

“Well that’s good, kiddo. Because I love you a lot too,” Harry planted a soft kiss on Lucas’ head.

“And Daddy?” Lucas asked.

“And your Daddy. I love your Daddy a lot too,” Harry winked, pressing a soft kiss to Louis’ cheek.

\--

“What’s that?” Harry asked, coming up behind Louis and peering over his shoulder.

“Oh, just some old art of The Monster’s Zayn brought over from his place he thought we’d like to have. Look at this one,” Louis dug a picture from the pile. It was a crude sketch in crayon that he handed to Harry.

“What’s this?” Harry asked, brows furrowed as he looked at it.

“Well silly,” Louis turned and pointed to the picture, “That’s me, that’s Luc, and that...that’s you. And the title at the top says My Family.”

“Very sweet,” Harry blossomed.

“Harry,” Louis’ voice was low and soft, “Zayn always put a date on the back of the art they did. Look at the date on this.”

Harry frowned and flipped the page over, “Wait...that was...that was the second week I was with you guys.”

“I know,” Louis felt goosebumps on his arms.

“Wow. I think I just got chills.”

“Me too. He was so closed off then. So distant from me and everyone else. And then you came into our lives and you just...you helped us both so, so much Hazza.”

“You did way more than you give yourself credit for. That boy adored you long before I came along.”

Louis blushed. Harry dug his phone from his back pocket, “I’m gonna call him.”

“Don’t you dare!” Louis grabbed the phone from Harry and tossed it onto the counter, “You will do no such thing. What you will do is you will take me upstairs to our bedroom and we’re going to begin enjoying having the house to ourselves for the first time! That is what you’re going to do, mister.”

“Bossy!” Harry giggled, scooping Louis up into his arms bridal style.

“Always!” Louis nipped at Harry’s shoulder.

“But for real though,” Harry said, carrying Louis up the stairs to their bedroom, “I am going to call him tonight. Just to make sure he’s all settled into his dorm and everything.”

“You’re such a helicopter parent,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Heeey!” Harry protested, kicking the bedroom door open with his foot, “You’re the one I practically had to drag out of his dorm room. Thought you were going to pull a Lorelai Gilmore and sleep over!”

“Hey!” Louis was affronted. In response, Harry dropped him roughly onto their bed.

“Shut up!” Harry rolled his eyes, crawling on top of Louis and straddling his hips, “Just as much a menace as our son.”

“You know it,” Louis smirked, “Now shut up and make love to me, husband.”

“Say it again,” Harry sighed wistfully, dropping his head down to suck a bruise into Louis’ neck.

“Husband.”

“Again.”

“It’s been eleven years and that still gets you goin’, huh?” Louis giggled as Harry nipped playfully at his neck.

“Always,” Harry nuzzled against him.

“Husband.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos, and bookmarks make my day :)


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